Goodbye, my everything

Hey there!

My dear, fat monkey..

I don't even know how to start writing this down..

For 3 months this whole speech has run through my mind over and over again.. Well, here it is..

My eyes are already dry, my voice is gone from all of the times I've screamed into the pillow.. My hands are shaking, I'm barely writing this letter down..

I want you, no, I NEED you to know that you're the best thing that ever happened to me

Your messages were the only messages I was waiting for

Every phone call.. Felt like the first one

Thank you for making my life a bit less useless, thank you for letting me in your life, thank you for writing this stupid message on that day that I'll never forget.. December 24th, 2016 :)

And here I am, saying the words I never thought I'd say, even though I should have

I LOVE YOU

You made my life better than I ever thought it could be.

You're the reason I got up with a smile on my face every morning

The reason I was so eager to check my phone, ignoring all the other people in my life

Do you know why? Because YOU'RE my life!

And I wish I could tell you this in person, but it's too late now.. I've missed my chance because I was stupid and didn't want to take any risks

Even on the day that I found out about this terrible disease, I still couldn't..

So here are my last words for you: don't be afraid to take risks, to take shots.. You can never know where it would lead you.. No, don't make the same mistake I made– say what you feel the moment you feel it! Get excited! Get this tickling feeling in your veins!

I want you to leave this letter right now, just put it away and go say "hi" to the next girl you see

Be spontaneous

Just do it!

You can, I know you can

You have so much to say to the world

So much to share..

Forget about me, please.. I'll be up there, or down there, I really don't know where exactly, not really sure how it works anymore.. But I'll be watching you, I promise

Goodbye, my everything