Taly73
Hope you enjoyed :)

Is he here?

Taly73 23/01/2012 802 צפיות 2 תגובות
Hope you enjoyed :)

.Dark "
.And the moon is the only light we'll see
.My body is crying for help
.Asking to be born again

?Can he do it
?Can he do it for me
.Or am i just blind to see that he's not here

.Everybody is telling me to stop believe
.He does not exist
".Take my outfit and throw it away

!But stop! , wait "
.Look around you
.Where are we
?Where the answer to all the questions
?In here
?Near the sun
?Or right in front of us
.Who the one that Brought us the life
".The one who thinks you're the whole world for him

.You are right"
.I feel strange
.I feel like i was all right all this time
.My body is'nt hurt anymore
"?Is this means that he is her


תגובות (2)

שיר יפה, אבל יש לך כמה שגיאות:

He is here?
בשאלה הופכים את "be" ואת הגוף = Is he here?

Or i'm just blind to see that he's not here
כנ"ל = Or AM I just blind…

Everybody telling me to stop believe
Everybody IS telling/Everybody's telling/Everybody tell.

See around you
see לא מתאים לציווי. Look יתאים כאן.

Who the one that Brought us the life
Who WAS the one that brought us the life.

.You right "
you're right/You are right

that means he is here
Is this means that he is here?

מקווה שלא נעלבת. זה רק כדי לשפר את השיר המקסים הזה.

27/04/2012 03:56

חחחח טליי זה מזכיר לי ת׳הכתבה באנגלית ביום שלישי..זוכרת?!

17/05/2012 15:41
1 דקות
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