how it fells

I'm not a loner, though people sometimes think I am.
I love been around people but, when I'm around them to long they start to think I'm different.
I'm not saying I'm just like them, I am different, but not as much as they think I am.
It's funny how after four year around those people I'm still an outsider.
It's not that I try to be! Not at all, I just like different stuff that they find weird.
I'm not into things like dance clubs and cigarettes, no I'm more into well, even I'm not so sure.
I like a lot of different things, it depends on me mood.
when I'm happy or just in a good mood I like to learn Japanese, that's one of the things that make people think that I'm weird, cause I like Japanese and not Spanish like most of the kids in my class, I still don’t understand the different between my liking a new language just like them, I gees its weird cause that’s not the language they like. Never mind, I'm use to people calling me "Japanese girl" every time they hear my j-pop music, or just because they got use to call me like that.
I feel like I've got a roller coaster in my brain. On the one hand I wanna be like them so they won't find me weird, but on the other hand I like being different, because I know I'm not ordinary I'm special, one of a kind. I'm not saying I'm the only girl in the world that is interested in Japan, of course I'm not! And I'm glad about it. My real friends, my family, the 'otakos' us we call ourselves, the anime and manga, Japan lovers. They are the most amazing people that I met in my entire life. They just like me, so I can open up to them and be my real self "honto no jibun" as we say in Japanese.
Well I'm mumbling, and I guess I'm not that interesting, but I decided that it's about time someone will know what I fell. I'm sorry if I wasted your time. ~
Abby.